Dear 14-Year-Old Me

Hi, it’s me! I mean you. I’m you. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but trust me on this. I’m writing this to you (to me!) from the future. I know what you’re thinking and no, you’re not on Candid Camera. This is the real deal. Think Back to the Future, with Michael J. Fox. No wait, that won’t work. Too soon. Okay, um, The Jetsons meets Night Gallery. Sort of. Anyway, it’s really you—older you—writing to right now you. Well, to be more accurate, it’s right now you writing to younger you. Both are true, I guess. So weird, right?

We need to talk.

Look, I know it makes people sound ancient when they say crap like this, but it really does go by fast. Life. Like a snowball down a steep hill fast. And it speeds up as it goes along. So, breathe. Take it all in. That’s my best advice. Do all you can to be right where you are, inside every moment, always. That’s not always easy to do, or even pleasant. Some moments suck. Some stretches suck. But it’s all a gift.

High school starts in what, less than a week? I love that you’re excited about it, that your only real worry about Day #1 is that you’ll get lost in that huge building. You won’t. One thing you should know—there’s a little stretch of hallway on the second floor by the Art Department where they numbered the classrooms like they’re supposed to be on the first floor. So any classes you have with room numbers from 127 through 145 or so aren’t where you’d expect them to be. Head up the stairs. They’re right there.

Life can be kind of like that, too. We feel certain about some things—like first floor rooms are numbered in the 100s and second floor rooms are numbered in the 200s—so certain that if we aren’t open to the possibility that we’re wrong, we can find ourselves roaming aimlessly. Keep an open mind.

Okay, I’m looking back over the old tapes and for the most part, you’ve made and will continue to make really solid decisions. A couple of things, if I may. Don’t worry about being cool. You won’t be, at least not for the next handful of years. Let me tell you why that’s a good thing. “Cool” is largely a walking, talking manifestation of insecurity. I saw that eye roll, but I’m serious. Think about it for a second. If someone is truly comfortable in their own skin, would they feel the need to stuff down all that makes them unique in favor of dressing, speaking, and professing to think like everyone else? There’s comfort to be had in conformity, to be sure, but comfort can be a trap. Exercise caution. Oh, and just a little peek into the future—the weirdos ultimately become the cool ones. Total truth.

Here are some rapid-fire tidbits of advice. Not all of them will make sense to you right now but tuck them away because you’ll recognize the moments when they come along. Here goes:

• Switch eye doctors. Now.
• There’s a big lie you’re going to feel the need to tell. Go ahead and tell it. It’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but also one of the kindest. All rules have exceptions.
• It’s okay to derail now and then. You’ll get back on track.
• Don’t eat or drink sugar-free anything, That shit is poison.
• Keep up your meditation practice. Yoga, too. They can provide calm amid storms.
• Write and paint and sculpt and sing and dance. Forever.
• Learn to sew and play the guitar. You’ll regret it if you don’t (believe me, I know).
• Buy a ticket for the Illinois Lotto that’ll draw on April 30^th, 1983. Choose the following numbers: 02, 07, 19, 29, 31, 32, bonus number 28. Babies are expensive and on that date, you’ll soon have two more (YES!!!).

That’s about it. You’ve got this, darlin’ girl. Remember what Mom says. “Whenever you’re uncertain, just be quiet and wait for the answer. Trust yourself and you’ll do just fine.” Those words will serve you well.

Speaking of Mom, go throw away her cigarettes and when she buys more (which you know she will), throw those away, too. Keep throwing them away. You already know you won’t get to have her for nearly as long as both of you deserve, but maybe you can buy a little more time. And hug her for me. Hard.

~*~*~*~*~*~

(GBE Topic #3: What would you tell the younger version of yourself who is about to start high school?)