Me, Me, Me (for the GBE)

Random, mostly useless tidbits about me, presented in the order in which they pop into my head, which means this list will be highly disorganized. You’ve been warned.

• I’m 61. I like being 61 more than I’ve liked any age up to this point and I fully intend to like each additional year I’m given more than the one before. In about three months, I’ll like being 62 more than any age I’d been up to that point.
• When I was a kid, I loved climbing up into a tree that was at the far end of our back yard. I spent a ridiculous amount of time perched in that tree, reading, writing, sketching, daydreaming, wishing people, and though I wouldn’t have known to call it that then, meditating.
• I now live in a house that has one actual tree in the yard. One. There are a gazillion Knock Out rose bushes—red and yellow, but you can’t really sit in those. Well, I suppose you could, but I wouldn’t recommend it.
• I have a serious thing for squirrels, robins, black & white cows, and gorillas.
• I’m 5’3” if I stand up real, real tall.
• I weigh 118 pounds if I’m a great big liar.
• I’ll never outgrow my love for pop music, singing and dancing by myself in the house, and mugs of steaming hot cocoa topped with an obscene amount of whipped cream.
• That one tree that’s in my current front yard? My husband and my youngest grandson planted it when the boy was three and the tree was just a pretty ratty looking stick with scraggly roots. No one except me, that sweet boy, his mom, and his sisters thought the stick would grow into a magnificent tree. It’s HUGE now (it’s a Cleveland Pear—they’re fast-growers), and I love it like crazy.
• That three-year-old is 14 now. Also a fast-grower. I’m overflowing with love for him and his fast-growing sisters and can’t quite get over how dazzlingly fortunate I am to be their grandmother.
• I’m not a “glass is half-full” person. I’m a “there’s a pitcher above the glass, perpetually filling it to the brim” person.
• I reeeeeeally want to retire. My bank account scoffs at the notion.
• I can’t stand okra or cilantro and would eat them only if there was a prize involved, and that prize would need to be large enough to fund that retirement I’m so aching for. I also have a tolerance for spicy foods that is on par with that of an average four-year-old.
• I don’t like to cook. I cooked multiple meals pretty much every single day while my kids were growing up because 1) I wanted them to establish good eating habits and grow on decent food and 2) cooking at home was budget-friendly. If I were to win one of those ridiculously huge lotteries, I’d happily pay someone very well to handle all food shopping, cooking, and clean-up.
• My ideal retirement will be pretty low-cost. I’m not fancy and have almost no wanderlust. Books, art supplies, countless notebooks stashed everywhere so I can jot stuff down when inspiration strikes, a laptop with a good internet connection, an Amazon Prime membership and Amazon Music add-on membership so I can listen to pretty much any song ever recorded any time I want, and some time amongst the trees. I’m cheap to keep.
• I think Crocs with socks is perfectly acceptable.
• I’ve never had much use for organized religion. I fully support the right of others to worship or not as they see fit and have a bug up my butt about people who want to require other people to live under their chosen religion’s umbrella. I’m a big believer that you should certainly be allowed to avoid doing anything you believe would send you straight to h-e-double hockey sticks, but the rest of us should certainly be allowed to roll the dice on everlasting damnation if that’s our gig.
• I love fall and winter, tolerate spring, and think summer is perfect for staying inside to read in the air conditioning.
• I sometimes cuss like a sailor. Zero apologies. I love words and most are welcome in my vocabulary. I do not use words that are hateful and designed to categorize and diminish groups of people though, because that’s some evil fucking bullshit.
• I can neither whistle nor juggle, though I’ve always wanted to be able to do both and have tried to master those skills since childhood. If you ever see me juggling while whistling a happy tune, you’ll know I’ve arrived. Please congratulate me on that day and maybe treat me to a big hunk of carrot cake. Or a stack of oatmeal-raisin cookies. Equally appreciated.

The following pic is of three magnets currently on my fridge. I could have probably just posted that and you’d know all you need to know. And hey, thanks for stopping by!

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(GBE Topic #7: INTRODUCE YOURSELF)

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